**Note: This note is not about my boyfriend. It is about discovering what it is to be in genuine friendship with a person. It is about being yourself and not doing things to try and earn love. Just read it i guess. But wanted to let you know that, because the entry starts with questions relative to boyfriend. Thanks!
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Dear God,
Should it be true for me to think that I don't have to be fighting to keep my boyfriend?
Is that okay to think?
I don't have to fight to impress him by being alluring or trying to gratify him. ?
Gosh.... I know we live in a fallen world so people have these needs that they want satisfied, maybe even almost "need" or it feels like it. But that seems like an excuse almost. Am I way off target? Am I right? Am I wrong.
Maybe we can be motivated to do certain things to keep that person in "like" with us. But how long does that do good before you have to do more? More little gifts in the mailbox, more (and more diversified) baked goods, more physical contact.
How about no. How about, if the above happens, it is because the two people are "in like" with each other more! (Cookies are NOT bad! Oh, perish the thought! Gifts in mailboxes aren't either. My heart gets so warm at that sort of thing. And uh, hugs are nice. ...)
Then....... how do people get more "in like" ?
Oh, how this could be too simple. But is it true? :
As Jane is more and more Jane around Bill; and as Bill is more and more Bill around Jane; Jane and Bill like each other more. They have opportunity to care about each other more, because there is more content to care about.
Good thing is you keep getting to know someone the longer you know them. It is impossible, my guess, to know someone fully. You never can cease to find something out about someone you didn't notice or know before. You get to know them ever better. And, is this too idealistic? You get to like them better. You love them more. (might be getting and giving more chocolate chip cookies :) )
There's this lie of rejection that says, I'm not good enough. See, the evidence is this person left, and that one; that one, too. I will just always get rejected unless I try to be different or do somethign different. Or maybe a person just gives up and says, "no more people" because then they won't get rejected. There is no one to reject them.
..Notice, i introduced it as a LIE.
It's the other person's problem, not you, for rejecting you unless you sinned agains them. IF you were willing to be friends and they weren't, let it go. Not a thing you can do really besides fail to be yourself and keep them around-- which is dishonest and WILL make you miserable. It make take a while, but eventually you will miserably be not yourself. Don't do that.
You are and will be loved for who you are.
I believe I am loved and will be loved for being me. I won't fight to keep someone interested in me. I will pursue them in trying to get to know them better- sure! That is solid and right. That's building friendship right there. It also is dating. It's being a student of another.
I will build friends (and maybe woo someone) by learning as much as I can about them and rejoicing with them in how they are made.
If they learn about me and need to have me do things for them to stick around, like help them clean or listen to them whenever they call, or be more physical than is really appropriate or equal to my love? -- Then that person doesn't really know me or appreciate me.
And I need to let them go, or at least not be fake to keep them close. Maybe they will still be in my life but more distant. Well peachy, that works I guess!
God, is it true that I shouldn't have to fight to keep people close to me? That... I should be faithful to be me, and intentional in getting to know them and celebrating the people You designed?
Love ya God. I thank You that You like to teach us and grant wisdom. I wait on what You have to teach me about love. Thanks. Amen.
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This note isn't really related to my boyfriend. He is someone I love and a friend, so he is indirectly related. As I learn about what love really is, it affects my interactions and relationship with him. But my boyfriend, if you read this and know him, is a best friend and fellow adventurer on the road of life with Christ with me. He respects me and my body. He is an encourager, fun, and really a best friend. Just wanted to clarify that I did not write this note about having to compromise myself to be his lady friend--because, that doesn't happen. And I'm glad.
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