human

I'm so human.
So frail, so weak, so imperfect.
I'm actually HAPPY to say that.
I don't have to try and be "superwoman"
Because the "super" Holy Spirit
Lives in me!

Truth and Psalm 91:2

I'm thankful for the truth.

The truth hurts sometimes.  I've been interested in this one guy.  We are good friends.  We both admitted we have feelings.

It has been neat being in a friendship where both of us are careful and talking about what is going on in our friendship.  It seems alien but good-- learning how a relationship can work and pointing out red flags to bring them to a halt.  We strive to have God with us in our time together, and THAT is just cool.

It's painful, but lately I've had to face a few facts about my perspective of relationships.

I've realized how they can be my "distraction"-- thinking about or analyzing a relationship can be my "getaway" from the stresses of things going on.

Um, I'm gonna go out on a limb here to say that, it is GOOD to be evaluating your relationships and own perspective from time to time.  Relationships need care and attention to be healthy!

But when thinking of the relationship becomes.... the reprieve?  The refuge?

That is NOT right.  Why?

Scripture says God is our refuge.  It seems so innocent.  But letting any person, relationship, or interest become a refuge instead of God?  I don't want to take this to an extreme here--- yes, sleep or go on a walk if that helps you when you are stressed.  Is painting an outlet?  Go at it!  Hobbies? They are grand!

........But to identify something besides God as our refuge... our foundation, our security, what we hinge upon...

That isn't right.

It is not like I've ever decided in my mind that everything would be great if I had a husband. But I have found myself daydreaming about a guy I like, or what my future husband might be like.  Maybe I'm analyzing a friendship with a guy and remembering great moments or imaging things that could happen, silly little things.  I do this.. a lot.

No....  I got sick to my stomach when I realized the extent of this idol.  Dare I call it, relational or emotional lust?  [gasp]

I want GOD to REALLY be my number one.  I want to delight in Him even if I have to turn down marriage.  If I have to look love in the face and, because I know it isn't what God has for me, say "no."

The thought stings.  ANd I'm reminded that the character of our God is love, not to tempt or taunt us.  No, our God "works things together for our good."  and we are told to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make paths straight."  I'm not saying He will ask me to turn down love; but if He were to, it would be because He loves me SO MUCH!

My God is a God who cares for me and guides me.  He Loves me.  He really does want the best life-- whatever He defines that to be-- for me... and that life is one of always walking hand in hand with Him.

Let's decide here on out that GOD is our refuge, not relationships, not a certain hobby, not a goal...  By His grace and empowerment, we can fight the urge to find fortress in something else, AND we can simply rest in God's lap of grace, trusting that He intercedes for us and will help us, if we only allow Him, to walk the walk He has called us to.

God, forgive me please for letting relationships be above you at times.  I want You to be my all in all. I submit my relationships to You.  God, I'm gonna need Your help.  God, You know the desires of my heart....  I submit me, all of me, to You.   If I get married, may it glorify the Lord.  If I am single, may it glorify the Lord.  Please be glorified in all my relationships... friends, family, strangers, or a love interest.  God, I want You to work through these relationships as You will.  Use me how You want.  As the Psalmist prayed, 'Please purify my heart and cleanse me from sin.  Fill me with love for you.'  

You are the best, LORD!  In Jesus' name.  Amen.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."  Psalm 91:2


***side note********

Coping with stress:  it is SO GOOD to relax in a hobby or to give yourself to a building project.  But for this hobby or project to consume your life-- to be what you live for by deed or thought?  That would not be right.  Hobbies are good.  They are even means of avoiding temptation.  Like, in avoiding lustful thoughts, it is GOOD to distract yourself with cleaning, or with hard work outside, or with a puzzle you've been working on--- etc.  Hobbies, projects, etc are good in their place, just like relationships are!

Set apart families

Powerful, short sermon on the consecrated (set apart) home.

http://www.ellerslie.com/sermons/eric-ludy/12-2-12/the-consecrated-home

22 minutes.  Enjoy!

Worth it

Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Never doubt the power of a kind word.  Even if you think it sounds silly or cheesy... if you feel inclined to speak it, why not.  The good it can do is far greater than any damage that could be done.  I mean, it is logical.

Seriously.  If someone DID think you sounded like a goober, that doesn't hurt them any, or you, does it?  You are still you and they aren't any worse for wear.  So what if they don't understand you.  Happens all the time since we aren't a race of mind-readers.  And if they get to know you more, then they will understand later.  If not it doesn't matter because you aren't seeing them....

On the other hand, when that kind word does encourage someone?  WOW!  You may not see that person for the rest of your life, but the kindness might linger with them!  

I remember when some guy who looked like Santa Clause came to a garage sale my mom hosted. Five-year-old-me whispered to my mom (loudly, i guess) that Santa was at the garage sale.  

Than man smiled at me beautifully.  He didn't even talk.  But that smile and his kind eyes are burned into my memory.

Don't hesitate to be kind!  I'm telling myself this, too.

Together

Families with illness should have SO MUCH SUPPORT!

Some churches are great at this!  Some communities are!  Some neighbors are!

But keep your eyes peeled.  There are many who are dealing with illness and all its crazy up and down emotions on their own.

Prayer
Meals
Love
Silent presence
Shift breaks
Hugs
Laughter
Sharing tears


It makes a difference.

I write this with one of my dear friends in the hospital.  I haven't been there but have been on the phone with her and her closest friends.  My heart aches and it can't compare to how the people there feel.  Love is a salve and prayer is powerful.

Drink

We really MUST make ourselves "fall upon Christ"

People, as much as they might want to be, aren't always reliable.  They can't fill you back up when you are empty as much as they want to.  They are an important part of supporting you (and you should be supporting them!)-- but they can't carry you.

Christ can.  Make time to regularly return to the River of Life and drink deeply.

Drinking deep varies.
--Reading Scripture
--Worship
--Worship music you listen and respond to prayerfully
--prayer (talking to God and listening)
--casting your cares on Him (because He cares for you)
--Simply spending time with God as you sit, or walk outside, or make art, or...

etc.  Take and drink!  Hold His hand intentionally, wherever you are or whatever you are doing. You will be refreshed.

Orgullo en mi padre

so proud of my dad.

"There' s always a lesson out there.  You just have to listen for it," he told me.

My dad has been wondering about whether or not to keep our current home.  It has been a concern for a while.  He got an answer to prayer at church in one of the sermons, he told me.

"Your house is not your home,"  Pastor Kevin said.  "Home is where you make it."

My dad told me this with teary eyes.  (I'll tell you now, he is a manly man! Clint Eastwood, watch out! My dad can kick rear-end if he needs to, AND he prays!)


Am I listening? Are you?  How do we cultivate a habit of listening?...

Balance and Busy-ness

God works through people differently. It is all pretty awesome.  One way I am made is, i like to be a nurturer or caregiver.

That is way cool and I'm happy about that.

I'm learning that it is too easy to get "caught up in the calling" or to identify yourself with your calling, instead of continuing to be who God made you to be.  For me, that means being "Ginny" (who is pretty weird! ).

I was talking to one of my trusted mentors/ "other Dad" and he brought up this point.  It was really good that he did, because I had never thought about that.  At the time though, I could feel "me" being sucked up into trying to always do what I think God designed me to.  If I don't, am I failing God?  Well, no.  Perhaps always "being busy" fails to glorify God in other ways.

I'm still processing this one.  But these are areas that I've noticed can get damaged by trying to always do, do, do service and not "be Ginny".... (PAUSE:   don't get me wrong.  Ministry should be a natural part of our lives.  But so should being the people God made us to be.  Before I forget, I will say that God's creation glorifies Him.  To not be what God created you to be- silly, or thoughtful, or funny, or happy, or creative, or athletic, or social, or whatever--- that would be a shame and would not fully glorify God. ....UNPAUSE)

Back to "the list" of where damage can happen.

--damage to personal relationships (family, marriage, friends)
--damage to own emotional and/or mental health
--damage to relationship with God (you can neglect God, too, by just doing works and not spending time with or worshipping Him) (there isn't a specific, "you must do this to spend time with God" law, but yeah. Part of relationship is listening, and it is hard to listen if you are not in constant or set apart prayer time)
--failure to grow. CHRIST is to be our anchor, not works or service or people.  If Christ is trying to lead you somewhere else but your ankle is tied to some service, how can you follow?  You must answer to God, not works or people

My mentor went on to say that it was up to me to make boundaries and define what would constitute me breaking away from time with a loved one, or whatever, for a crisis.

Life is about balance in many ways.  Are you glorifying God in the different areas of your life, such as,
Service-
Hobbies-
Relationships-
Talents/gifts-
Passions-
Stewarding body-
Stewarding resources-
?

Keep relying on God for balance.  Ask Him to guide you.  Proverbs 3:6 says, "Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight" !  I've also heard it said, "...and He will 'pave the way'"

Pray.  Pay attention to where your time goes.  Have accountability/talk about it with people.  Ask questions.
Live life to the fullest, to your best.  Life can be a lot more simple that it seems, I think, and often find myself forgetting.

humbled and in awe, rambling.

"It is amazing to be given the chance to care of another.  It is an honor to have someone trust you.  No, you never want anyone to rely on you or be dependent upon you instead of God.  But trust?  That is a beautiful thing that must be above all, respected.  I say this after talking to my friend in the hospital.  Twice she has called me and all I can do is talk, or hum, or read a story.  Twice she has fallen asleep on the phone.
"There is rare so sweet a thing as to be there for someone; of this, I am convinced.
"I remember crying on my brother's shoulder, trusting him.  How vulnerable to trust, but also, how so very comforting and liberating.
 "Lord, protect our relationships and help us to care for one another.  In Jesus' name Amen."

December 13th reflection

My Lord, you are amazing.

You love Your people so much....

You cover them sweetly.

Praise You, Father God.

as a student

"Do not offer a woman chocolate after finals.  She will most certainly eat it.... ALL of it."

Haha.  Thankful that Finals are done; for chocolate; and when people give you chocolate as a gift (it is a lot more pleasant that way, and seems more justified.)  :)  Be blessed

Nazirite vow (a neat link)!!!

http://awakenedear.wordpress.com/2010/01/26/embarking/

Please look!

Are you wishing to draw nearer to Christ... do You want to get insight into different means of being set apart for Him?

This blog post discusses the Nazirite lifestyle, and how that looks modern day.  I encourage you to read the Bible verses mentioned as you go along (I simply googled them).

Here is an excerpt:
............
“The danger of the Nazirite consecration is to be holy on the outside, but inwardly carry a hard and self-righteous heart that hides behind the mask of righteousness, and impressive outward actions that disguise a bankrupt soul. Only the fire of inward intimacy, the filling of the Holy Spirit along with continuously receiving God’s mercy and delight for us can deliver us from a Pharisaical heart. Nazirites who are not living with intimacy with the Lord also face the danger of self-righteousness when they rejoice in their commitment to Jesus rather than Jesus Christ himself……Too often we judge others by their actions while judging ourselves by our intentions. The heart of those who rejoice in their own strength will end up in one of two pitfalls: either arrogance of accomplishment, or self-hatred as an unworthy son. Only embracing the grace of God to us with humility can help us avoid this……Discipline neither has the power nor the ability to satisfy the human heart. The human heart is made alive by romance, intimacy, and mystery and is fueled by passion and adventure. If we substitute this with discipline we will end up with a cold wanting heart of a Pharisee. When discipline replaces intimacy the only time we feel loved is when we see ourselves measuring up to Christ’s standards. When we fail we’ll believe we are no longer loved. The Consecration and discipline of a Nazirite must spring from the filling of the Spirit and the fire of God’s jealousy on the human heart.”
....................

Be blessed!  Life's an adventure if you let it be-

Ginny

friends

Lord,

I don't understand

Why You've blessed me with such dear friends.

God,

I don't know why You would bless me

with so much love, fun, encouragement...

Thank You for dear ones who walk with me

Thank You for goofy ones who show me different ways of

looking at the world,

Thank You for thoughtful ones who turn my mind towards truth and

living purposefully,

Thank You for many more of these friends.. in so many varieties..


Thank You for best friends who love you no matter what

Who deal with your weakness, your failings, and

How annoying you sometimes are :)...

Thank You for love that is so powerful and "heart-bleaching"--

That is, a heart being transformed with perfect love--

that only comes from those dear, blessed friends.


LORD, won't You make me a good steward of these friends?

Show me how to be a good friend, please!

Amen

The Gift of Time

We can always ask God questions, and ask Him to help us in our walk with Him and our faith!  The following is about making time for God.   I realized today just how hungry I was to meet with Him since I did not get to yesterday for long at all.  It began a thoughtline for me of what a gift it is, and yet, sometimes we don't reach out and take that delightful present right in front of us.  I'm guilty.  So, we can ask God to help us simply Take and Eat.  He may prompt and create in us such a desire, but it must be each of us who actually makes the choice to spend time with Him... the choice can't be made for us (or at least, rarely can it!)
----------

If only I make time for You...

If only I make time for You,

I get to see You!

If only I make time for You,

I'm refreshed...

Given hope...

Convicted...

Taught....

Redeemed and loved.

Lord, a meeting with You is always so rich.

Why do I struggle to make time with You?

Lord, make in me a heart and life that is ever ready to meet with You.  Help me live this practically.  I want to decide "Yes- this is God time."  In Jesus' name, Amen.

December 6

I swim in waves of mercy,

Am carried by the grace,

The water laps up against my face

And I'm completely bathed in this love.

It carries me when I just can't kick to swim another yard-

It actually seems to move me faster sometimes when I fall limp, and helplessly,
float.

When I kick and swim with all my might

Trying to get beyond wherever I am-

Those waters, they cushion my angry fists

And simply catch my angry tears, counting each one.

I don't understand every season,

I sometimes don't want to leave, or desperately want to be done,

But these waters forever, perplexingly, wonderfully and lovingly

Always carry me along;

God of love, whose compassion is deeper and wider than all the seas.