Never alone

She shivered and folded her arms against fluffy winter coat.  She was thankful now for the warmth that wasn't in the loveliest of styles (olive green and it looked like it could be a sleeping bag).  She felt silly for being so embarassed at putting it on earlier that day.

She was on an evening walk.  The leaves were gone now, and winter had all but arrived on the calendar.  She could see her breathe as she walked beneath lights interspersed down her street.  The lights weren't big or many enough to block out the stars, so looking up, she could see them too.  They were extra bright surrounded by a deep, crisp, bottomless ocean blue. 

It had been a tough couple of days. 

She decided to ask God to walk with her.  She knew He was already there, but there was something about intentionally letting Him know she wanted to spend this moment with Him.  It made her think of home.  She might be sitting next to her brother and both of them watching tv.  But that wasn't really quality time.  Quality time was when one of them turned down the volume a little and suggested they go play with the dog outside, or ask how one is doing and they started talking. 

 He took the invitation eagerly, she knew.  This fact never failed to humble her heart-  Big God, good God, waiting on her to stop watching tv and turn. And who opened his arms wide when she took the remote and turned down the volume herself.

She did end up talking to Him about her grievances.
He understood her worries.  He understood the little grievances and frustrations she pulled out one by one.  He understood the big things.  He delighted to in her joys and things she was thankful for that week. 

Oh, how good to walk with Someone who cares so much and whom she can trust it all with!!

She placed the worries and troubles, joys and thanks in His hands.

And He cradled them in His hands. 

Put them safe in His pocket.  When it was the perfect time, He'd pull the items out and create, out of each one's materials, something new and good that He'd lay down in her life, for her to walk into unawares.

 She'd see this present eventually. 

She had much less to carry now and felt happy to have shared it all with Someone.  it can be lonely to hold onto so many things on your own.  God of course already knew all about her life.  But in sharing it with Him and trusting it with Him intentionally--- well, she got to love God by trusting Him and being with Him, and be loved on by God (who IS Love... this thought humbled her, too).

They walked back to the door.  Buster the dog greeted Carrie and she smiled, giving him a kiss on his cold nose and getting sloppy kisses in return all over her face.  She pulled back and wiped the slobber off, incredulous and laughing that she was (again) lovingly covered in dog drool.

Carrie went about her evening routine of reading, thinking, getting settled in and then sleeping. 

And she knew she was never alone.